So, I think it’s such a massive shock when you have a stoma created and you do need a lot of support.

There are groups online, so I found a lot of support from those groups there. If you go onto Facebook, you can join lots of stoma support groups and those range from people who have stomas for years who are old hands and are very wise and will give you lots of great tips, to people coming on who are new and maybe discovering new things as well. So those are really great and supportive resource to have.

You can get a lot from your supplier, your home delivery company. They are usually pretty experienced as as well because they’ll have loads of patients who’ve gone through the same thing. So you can ask them questions and ask them for advice as well as your stoma nurses also.

I used Macmillan. Macmillan are fantastic. So, Macmillan Cancer. I just can’t even. I can’t even describe how amazing they are. I didn’t even know half the stuff they did until I went through cancer treatment, and they helped me with all sorts of financial help, you know, dealing with HMRC, dealing with the council, on council tax and all those kind of things, and I didn’t even know stuff like that exists. It’s definitely one of my biggest tips to anybody going through cancer treatment is just to find out what Macmillan do, because there’s so much they do that can help you.

I mean, there’s a huge stigma still to bust around stomas, let’s be honest, it’s better than it used to be.

But it’s still very, it’s very hidden and a lot of people don’t talk about it and you know it’s talked about very discreetly and whereas when you have a stoma, it’s certainly the way that I have found best to deal with it just be open and honest. You know it’s something that saved my life and it’s part of me now and it’s great, you know, it’s enabling me to continue living so I wouldn’t ever dream of being discreet about it or, you know, not talking about it and not being open about it. And I find that by me being open about it, everybody else is too.

I know lots of people with stomas, and we all chat and we all help each other out. And you know, we all give tips and advice and that’s for the. the really good support comes also, and it’s not always right, so you know. So, I would say caveat that with make sure that you’re also getting advice from your stoma nurses from properly trained professionals also.

There’s all sorts of weird stuff that’s put out there on the Internet, so you do you.

A piece of advice that I would encourage people to have is that there are the statistics. Are the statistics, don’t Google too much. Don’t rely on statistics. Don’t look at statistics because you are you and you will be going through your own unique individual journey.

There are more people now getting cancer and treatments have changed. Those statistics will change as well, so there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be the first person to do something different.

So just try not to take try not to overthink and try not to look into statistics or to think that because it’s happened to someone else that’s going to happen to you and just go through your own experience. But if you can, I did find people who are like you and who can inspire you because that will keep you going. There are so many sites out there. Stay away from the ones that are negative. Stay away from anybody who’s negative and brings you down. And just surround yourself. I mean this was my biggest piece of advice would be surround yourself with really positive people.

So, you know, surround yourself with people who are really can do and who want to lift you up all the time and give you energy when you’re going through tough cancer treatments.

Stay away from those people who are just energy drainers because that’s the last thing you need so you know there’s so many sites out there.

There are so many support groups with people who are really positive and who will lift you up and who will make you see that anything is possible.

Just remember

You are not in this alone. It is up to you who you want to tell and ask for help but don’t do this alone. Speak to close family and friends and don’t be afraid to ask for help – which doesn’t have to be stoma related, pick up shopping, cook a meal or just be there for you.

Voice your concerns. Speak to your stoma care nurse, oncology team or even your home delivery company on any thoughts or concerns you have. If they don’t know the exact answer, they will always signpost you so you can feel supported through your journey.

You are you. This is your journey, don’t worry about statistics or trust everything you read online. Focus on positive people, support groups and sites that help you understand and build you up. This is your journey, and you can control how you move forward.